Can your Grandparents do any stunts? It may just save the NHS

If there is one thing you should do right now in this terrible pandemic, it’s call your grandparents. That’s right, they need your love. In fact pick up the phone right now and call them up.

“Hi Grandad, are you okay? Ah that’s good to hear. You’re not too lonely are you? Do you need any food?”

And then when you’ve got through the pleasantries, follow up with:

“Say Grandad, can you do any tricks? You know like, I don’t know, say, a handstand, or ride a bike backwards, maybe hop and skip? Also were you in the war? The second one I guess, not sure of the date, but you were a veteran right?… Why? Because the NHS needs some fucking money!”

With this I am in no way attacking Captain Tom Moore and the generosity of the English public who have donated £27m to date to his fundraising walk around the garden. This is of course great news, for many, who are working for the NHS. It’s an amazing act of kindness.

The point is, Tom and the English public shouldn’t have to do it.

The whole scenario perfectly illustrates how our society functions. It’s common knowledge that the NHS has been attacked with cuts by the Tories over the last 10 years, and yet we do nothing about it.

But society likes a story about an man in his late 90’s, a war veteran, ready to fight for our beloved NHS. Something we all hold dear to our hearts. Why? Because it’s a great narrative. It appeals to our emotions. We love a good story, we are easily seduced. It’s also sells media. It has all the makings of a perfect piece of marketing, just look at the key words: ‘man in 90’s’, ‘War veteran’ and ‘NHS’, I can already smell the patriotism in the air already. Who couldn’t be emotionally moved? If only my Grandparents were alive now, I would be straight on the phone, let’s get that £350 million Boris said we needed!

Now where are all the emotional articles about why the NHS is failing, it’s privatisation and lack of beds and the need for nurses? They are there, just few and far apart, and you need to work to find them.

It’s simply easier to handover £27m than it is to challenge the status quo. To challenge and work to be informed about why the NHS is failing. It’s easier to hand over £27m than hold our government to account. It’s just easier to hand over £27m…

But is the NHS failing? I guess when nurses pay rises are blocked and parliament cheers, it must be because they were doing so well they didn’t need it!

Put simply, the articles in the media should read “Why do we have a 90 year old man raising money for the NHS?” But unfortunately that may cause the public to question, and we can’t have that.

So until then, pick up your phone, call your Grandparents and see if they can ollie on a skateboard. It maybe the only thing that saves the NHS.

Kai Motta’s novels Celebrity Rape and VIR(US) are available from Amazon.

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